"... And Hallchahaddin ibn Abd Allah ibn Abd al Muttalib spoke to the angel Flintstone, who taught him of C. W. Post, the almighty, and sent him to spread the knowledge to the holy town of B'Attle Creek, Al Michigan. He taught the simple message, a powerful truth. 'There is no cereal but Post, and I, Hallchahaddin, am the Prophet of Post.'"

All ye, hear yea truths and convert! Cast out your pagan Lucky Charms and repent your sins! Take in thy hand a box of Honey Bunches of Oats, and declare! 'There is no cereal but Post, and Hallchahaddin is the Prophet of Post!'

The Five Spoons

The First Spoon
One must profess his monocerealism! Stand tall and declare, "There is no cereal but Post, and Hallchahaddin is the Prophet of Post."

The Second Spoon
Face the holy town of B'Attle Creek, Al Michigan at 8 in the morn', and if you are within the limits of Battle Creek, Face the Holy Factory Al Postopia. Take part in a balanced breakfast, and let no heathen cereals, namesake of General Mills, or of Generic Brands, or of the Oatmeal cross thy table.

The Third Spoon
Be Charitable and Loving to thy neighbor, and give 2% of every bowl to those less fortunate than thyself. Be aware, that if Post is not your intention in charity, then you shall be damned to sit among Trix Rabbits and Suffer for 5 centuries!

The Fourth Spoon
As Hallchahaddin would, thou shalt Fast between the hours of 11:00 P.M. and 5:30 A.M., and when thee fast is complete, Break Fast with thy holy meal, namesake for its breaking of the fast, Breakfast!

The Final Spoon
Make thyself a Pilgrimage to the great canyon known as Cere'Al Aisle, and fill thy cart with the ceremonial Hah'Ni Bhanches El'Oats! A bowl of cereal in Cere'Al Aisle is worth a thousand bowls elsewhere!



The Great Jihad of General Mill's Oppression!
Join our ranks, my brothers! Accept thy spoons and fight alongside us! Let us make war with General Mills!


Those who have seen the light...
- Hallchahaddin, Prophet of Post and Caliph of Al Postopia
Etoh al Abdullah, Shiek of Etoh